In Other Words... No Change

Some people think they are so smart by resorting to a different method of avoiding the need to change for the better. Newsflash! Nothing changes!

All these "agree to disagree".
All these "disgress".
All these "moving on".

They all show one thing. Inability to accept what has been said albeit in a more polite way. Like if there was a polite way in saying "f*** you!"

Same old thing happening again and again. What is the use of harping over something when no solution has changed or improved. Let alone try a solution at all! The inertia will only destroy the self eventually if it persists.

As they always say, one should not complain if one does not even want to help.
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

A person who disagrees must have very good reasons and should be better in rebutting what has been put forth. Rather than just disagreeing for the sake of not wanting to admit the truth of the matter. Sticking their head in the sand? Playing the fiddle when Rome burns? You get the idea.

If they do not want to face the facts and do something about it, they should cease making noise about their predicament because then it would be none other than self-fulfilling prophecy.

Move On or Stay There

"Then they despised the pleasant land; they did not believe his promise. They grumbled in their tents and did not obey the LORD."
- Psalm 106:24-25

A spirit of discontent is a dangerous one. It is one that easily turns away from believing and forgets all the good that has been blessed. For what? Seeking what others have? Wanting to attain what others have, albeit bordering an unhealthy mind does not mean a thing when nothing significant is put into effort in order to acquire the desire.

How can you get angry for not getting something by doing nothing? It does not make sense! If a life of self sufficiency and comfort is all you ask for, then that is already your lot in life. If you have supposed justifications and reasons for not wanting to even work on new or different things, please do not make as though that what happens or what does not happen, is something uncommon.

For the things you wish you could have without putting the time and effort into being capable of handling it... It is ridiculous. With the more important things in life such as building relationships, there is no instant noodle method to it.

You can't make yourself change instantly to become a better person just for another. It is not natural. It is not sincere. It is done with the purpose of desire for the other. But is it truly your real self as how you would behave? True change must be with conviction.

The opportunity to change while idle is there for the taking, in preparation of what is to come. If one does not make the changes, how can he expect to receive something he is incapable of taking charge? If you do not want to be a leader then you will not be given a position of which you are to lead. And if you are not a leader, who would look to you for anything? If you are unable to even take charge of your own life, who would look to you for anything?

Going That Extra

There are many people who are content with status quo; the way things are or as I would like to visualise on a graph reading, position zero. Status quo on its own, just is. Most of the time it would mean that it is neither great nor bad, which also means nothing is getting better. No improvement. No development. No growth.

People often like to look at status quo and say, "It could be worse!" or "At least I am not like so-and-so!" referring to somebody or something that is worse. In the visual graph, it would be in the negative value.

Has the world become so complacent that preventive measures of falling into the negative while maintaining the status quo become such an achievement or something to take pride in?

There are people who often ask why their lives seem to be going nowhere. Why are their lives not progressing, not improving, not growing? The answer is fairly simple. It is all because of status quo. To move on in one's journey of life towards becoming a better person for this life and the next, one has to endure trials and tribulations in order to become better.

A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor.

If a person wants everything to be the same, safe and predictable... comfortable... then that person will forever perpetuate the stagnation of their lives and its events. It is only when we strive for something better do we actually grow and learn. With the new knowledge based on experience, we are more equipped and prepared to handle other things to come.

Life's challenges are like the work you have at your job. The more you put it off until later, the more it will pile up. At the end of the day when you come back, you would still need to clear them.

I remember a person who wrote in a newspaper once. He said owning an email account was like managing a garden. If one does not tend to it regularly, more work needs to be put in in order to clear outstanding occurrences.

Some people have a lot of backlog to clear; problems that have been put off far too long, unforgiveness, closures to issues left hanging indefinitely. All these get in the way of our progress forward. When one wonders why their life is the way it is, they only need to stop and look at themselves first to see if it was something that they did not do.

When a person maintains the status quo or near it, that leaves little to no room for any incidences that would put him or her in the negative. In contrast to a person who is ever trying to reach higher and higher positives.

Levels of Faith

"For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, 'The just shall live by faith.' (Habakkuk 2:4)"
- Romans 1:17 (NKJV)

In tonight's sharing at my cell group. Words of encouragement has reached me while it also made me realise that I need to have more faith. Once again the daily grind has taken its toll on me, leaving less room for the mind to think and the body resorting to be independent of it, doing what needs to be done to get through the day in hopes of the next day being more hopeful to no avail.

I have become so occupied with daily works that I have forgotten about Him. I have forgotten to allow Him to help me. I have forgotten that He can take care of everything. I do admit after all He has done for me, it still is very difficult getting to the next level of faith.

From faith to faith. Every situation is another "test" of faith.

I have heard of people praying for their hair to turn from grey to black. I have heard of people praying for increased monthly income, reversing the effects of receding hairlines and command clouds to move.

I admit right here and now, my faith is not at that level yet. I have also learnt that He cannot work in our lives if we simply do not believe. As simple as it is, to say that all we need to believe... over the years, we have come to rely on the tangible. It is also fear that paralyses us from taking that step into what He has in plan for us.

My boss also once told me that it is fear that cripples us from progressing.

What do I fear? Just like most everybody; fear of failing. Fear of losing what I have. Logical fears, I know. However He wants us to put our trust in Him. I know He wants us to put everything on Him.

The more I think of it, the more I imagine Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he struggled with the Leap of Faith, having to totally trust that he could walk over the ravine. That is the vision I have in my head whenever I think about totally trusting on Him.

The struggles of setting myself straight is difficult. It is something I already know that I must do but procrastinate for another day... and another day. I pray for strength of mind to do so.

Straight and True

"Watch out for people who try to dazzle you with big words and intellectual double-talk. They want to drag you off into endless arguments that never amount to anything. They spread their ideas through the empty traditions of human beings and the empty superstitions of spirit beings. But that's not the way of Christ."
- Colossians 2:8

When a person cannot seem to give me a reply that is straight, I tend to be wary of the person's character. The fact of the matter is this:

If you cannot tell the truth, it means you are afraid of doing so.
If you are afraid of doing so, it means you are hiding something.
If you are hiding something, it means you are afraid of the truth.

People can argue over this trying to justify "withholding the truth" is not the same as lying.
That may be true, but I would not use the word "lying". I would say it is dishonesty.

It annoys me to no end when a person who is label themselves a believer of the faith, while intentionally being dishonest. And that person rather than answer truthfully and simple would rather take greater effort to evade answering while diverting attention to other matters. In doing all that, the person attempts to take the moral high ground. Amazing! The person even proceeds to say that they refuse to dignify with a response.

Such hubris.

When a person finds it difficult to answer truthfully and chooses to be prickly about it at the same time antagonises me, well... Good luck to them with their future relations. They must have pretty high standards... so much so that nobody is able to get close to them. That could explain why these people are alone. Sadly to the end of their days.

A cup that is full cannot take in anymore water. I rather be inferior and with friends.

Could Care Less

Why do I care? Why should I care?

Why are the standards that I must follow be so high? Why does it look as though I am the only one that is giving a damn what happens to those who have fallen so far?

When I was younger, I usually experienced too many times the situation whereby I am doing all I can with all my earnest efforts, thinking I am doing a pretty good job at it only to find out that nobody else was doing the same. In fact they would look at me as though I was weird. Eventually I found out that what I did was not the most "sensible" way of doing it. It always appeared as though I was spending too much energy into doing things inefficiently which often at times make me question my intelligence.

I would ask myself,

"Why am I that stupid to be doing it this way when everybody else isn't?"
"Why has nobody ever taught me to do things their way?"

As far as I can remember, I always believed that I was the odd one out. The one who does not seem to be able to get along with a group. My sincerity in caring never was really appreciated. There were even a few times when I chose to harden my heart and continue with my life not making detours for those who seemed like they need help.

Nice guys finishing last is fine. However, to not finish at all while also being left for dead is another thing altogether.

As of late, I have been afflicted with illnesses that may be permanent. I have been wondering if I should focus on recuperating as much as possible at the expense of leaving people in the dust and letting themselves sort their own mess, or should I give up what is left of my life in hopes they can have some. At least what is left of their squandered years.

Please open up their eyes that they may see.

Perception Management

"Stop deceiving yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, 'He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness.' And again, 'The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise; He knows they are worthless.'"

- 1 Corinthians 3:18 - 20

Agree to disagree? That is only your own opinion. That is only their perception.

I agree there are some things that we can agree to disagree. Such as which flavour of ice cream is the best. What features constitutes physical attractiveness to an individual. How we choose to eat our food - do we prefer soup or kon low. Those are considered trivial to me and not worth participating in an argument over.

What I cannot agree to disagree are universal truths. In particular, my faith. The faith which is shared with many others. I do not wish to refer to it as a religion for we see it as more of a relationship with our God. If theology is not your cup of tea, kindly leave this article. Though I am in no means seeking to preach, I do wish to share about point of views. Perceptions.

It bothers me that there are those who do not wish to accept the truth of reality. They live in their own world thinking their logic and supposed wisdom is all they need as their moral compass to get by in life and partake in the splendours of the sweet hereafters when they die. In my faith, it is called heaven.

But if there are already guidelines, more experienced and elder people who may provide more insights into the beliefs and practice, it would not make any sense to not listen to them. If only to learn a fragment more than before. It would be something to gain compared to gaining nothing.

When a person denies everything else except for his own interpretations, how then can he claim to be a part of a larger group? If a person cherry picks what he wants to hear while throwing out all that is unpleasant to his ears, though he knows there is truths in them... how then can he claim to know enough?

It should be obvious if he who has done things his way for many years only to reach the same disappointing ending, that he would try to seek alternatives. Seeking alternatives, trying other practices that would even remotely seem like they have produced favourable results for other people.

Would that not pique his interest, causing him to ask, "What has that person been doing, that he has successful results? Maybe I should try it to see if it works."

Or should he go, "That is a different case, it surely won't work for me."

* * * * *

As I was relating this to a friend. I realised that a certain government also behaved the same way. Where international researches have showed the country's poor governance. And all the government would respond is by saying  the research results were merely the researchers' perception. While majority of the citizens of the country are feeling first hand, the research results. However the government chooses to stick its head in the sand.

* * * * *

As long there is no improvement needed, nothing will change. If nothing changes, there will be no improvement. Sadly, some people never see change in their lifetime. They should have asked themselves what could they have done to improve, rather than saying that they did all that they could. Nobody is perfect. So how can one self-regulate himself accurately? If there are others to learn from, would it not make sense to take advantage of that opportunity? Why reject them, thinking their views are not good? If they are not good, then why is what they have otherwise been employing, proven to be unsuccessful time and time again?

* * * * *

How can one shun the act of condemning a soul to be hopeless in being saved or helped when one condemns the land and its collective of people so easily of being hopeless in being saved? It may take years and years. Some people went through years and years of disappointment only to experience results eventually. So who is to say something cannot be saved when one has not even done anything in his capacity to help?

Persevering Through Trials and Loneliness

For the longest time I have always been alone. Now before you assume that I am over exaggerating or dramatising my life, I will briefly describe what it was like. So you know that I am not one of those that have to conjure issues in their lives because everything is just going too well for them.

When I was younger, my parents never had time for me. They were always busy with work and their own lives while I was left to my own devices. If any. My sister was never kind or pleasant to me. It felt as though she hated me for merely existing. Most of the days, I would talk to myself and imagine stories in my head to pass the time. What few toys I had were my tools to creating my own world, where I would determine how things should be.

School days were not so different. Never felt that I belonged in any group. Whenever I do make connections with individuals who seem to be of similar wavelength, they eventually sell out and join other groups and forget about me. I was the unattractive one, the poor one, the unfunny one. Those days, the unpopular ones were often the subject of ridicule, always seen as weird because they were not "one of the group".

You would think in college, kids should have been mature. If it is one thing college taught me was that, age is no indication of one's maturity, intelligence and wisdom. Sure as one ages, the expectation is set higher for them. Though it seems most people could care less.

These were the days where differing opinions, if they had any to differ in the first place, would determine the alienation.

Even at church I was "secretly" labelled as he who was of bad influence, where parents would tell their children to stay away from me. When I say "secret" I mean everybody knew but me.

At the late point of my life, I had already lost the want; the desire to belong to any particular group after experiencing the more often than not, hive mind behaviours in groups.

* * * * *

My friend recently reminded me that God did in fact say, "It is not good for man to be alone."

We were created not as self sufficient beings but as beings requiring to rely on each other. I have learnt in life that a burn or two does not make the whole world a blazing pyre. Humans are not perfect, will sooner or later disappoint. The idea is to not expect them to be perfect or be able to fulfill our hopes.

Just as we are unable to do certain things, so too must we see the same in others.

If a group does not welcome you, move along to the next. Just because there has been a streak of unwelcome does not make one unwelcome everywhere. The important thing is to persevere.

To look at how tall a mountain is and just sit there will not get one to the top. It requires steps; putting one foot in front of the other. No matter how long it takes, it will definitely happen. Again emphasising on the importance of perseverance.

* * * * *

Persevering is one thing, but one also needs to realise that if at first one does not succeed, one needs to examine and reflect what went wrong and to correct or improve. To repeat a same method and hoping for a different outcome is insanity.

Failures should be seen as indicators of what not to do, rather than rejection. True it is a rejection of what is wrong. The rejection has its reasons and those reasons need to be understood and appreciated. Only then will the desire to persevere becomes strengthened and fueled with cause.

Minimising Deficit

We are all human. All imperfect. However we are all called to strive to be as blameless as possible

Although it is not for me to decide, I still do wonder how much effort they make, or at all.

Do we take it for granted with every bit of awareness trying to bend as far as possible without breaking? Is it because we have never been burnt that we not yet fear?

Rhetorical questions to those that see, something important to think about to those that do not.

Hubris of Men

"All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants."
- John 3:20 - 21

I may have written about this in my previous blog. I do not remember. However since I cannot really remember the exact contains, I am certain that I may cover different areas this time around.

A person who truly seeks as much as knowledge as possible will realize that the more they learn, the less they know. Or as a character in a computer game said, to be good enough to know that there are always somebody superior than one's self. If that can be established one would be aware of his environment, the people around him, his capabilities and his limits.

Compared to one who believes he knows everything or perhaps somewhat less assured, believes he knows enough to not be wrong. Oh, the hubris... It still astonishes me when people defend themselves by lashing out, verbally, swinging wildly at the supposed accuser. Some of them at least try to justify their actions. Today for the first time in many, many years... I encountered one who attacked my personality with unfounded allegations which could not have been further from the truth.

This all started when I noticed her putting down a quote. My naturally inquisitive self copied and pasted her sentence in Google and it revealed the person who originally said it. So I replied to her, saying that Google is so helpful in helping detect plagiarism.

Needless to say it had struck a very raw nerve and she said I had an attitude problem and that I "love to "drag people down (with me)". I was accused of being a hater. Well, I am not about to convince her or anybody otherwise. As I have always say... those that know me, know me for what I am.

I wish to focus on the reason why she was so annoyed. There are many reasons that may have led to her reacting that way. It could be that she doesn't like it when people steal her thunder. Not that it was originally hers anyway. It could be that a keyword triggered some bad memories. Either way, my statement was in fact non-personal.

However, for a person to react that way to something that should be non-personal, kind of says a few things. It usually happens when a person feels that their pride has been stepped upon and they get enraged and seek to defend it at all cause, not knowing why. All they know is that they must deny their folly or the very least redirect attention elsewhere.

Rather than seek to solve a problem. They choose not to see. It is only a matter of time before they get a rude awakening if they do not deal with their problems as soon as possible. My only regret is getting in the way.