You know how some people say that success does not happen overnight? And how someone's personality was not the way they are all of a sudden. I also saw a quote at the National Registration Department recently saying that, "You don't fail overnight. Instead failure is a result of error in judgments made repeatedly."
The essence is that a person's predicament does not happen suddenly and without reason or cause. Mind you "smart" people out there who are thinking of instances of car accidents or coming down with a sickness.
Few years ago I was in one of my many negative modes where I believed that I would never amount to anything good. I was told that my outlook of life was self-fulfilling prophecy. I could not understand, in fact I strongly rejected the idea that I was putting myself in a situation where I was intentionally setting up myself for failure. Only now when I look at others experiencing what I had, do I understand better.
If a person keeps intentionally doing something the exact way which were not successful the last several times, but yet adamantly keeps repeating over and over again, it is hardly a surprise that he would definitely know very well what the outcome would be. What is ridiculous is that he would find some sort of pride in being able to show people that he was right in believing that his attempts are futile because he already knew what the ending would be.
The compounding problem is when he already is settled for that mindset, that he behaves, or rather lives his life revolving around that state of mind. The faux reality which he has overlaid over the real layer of the world. It is like wearing a pair of shit-tinted glasses. He starts to believe his own lie about what the world, what the people are like. This lie of course started out as a whisper, but the Prince of this World is cunning. Now the lie has become a reality in his eyes and his mind. I only pray that his heart will be the last hope of resistance, which will push back the onslaught and ultimately win back his thoughts and visions for good.
* * * * *
As he is oblivious to the reality of the situation, so too is he oblivious to how others who genuinely care, are feeling especially when people, like myself, are trying to restore dignity and self-respect in him. It seems to amount to nothing as my efforts are trampled upon as worthless. I also cannot help but feel that I am resented for what I have, for the little that I have.
It's one thing to envy and resent those who have more than we do, but to envy and resent those whom have less than you? That is very dangerous territory. Ungratefulness leads to resentment, which leads to disobedience and ultimately separation.
My mother told me that if a person is not grateful for what he has that he would never ever be grateful for what he would get. I in my impoverished state could not fathom the meaning to those words because anything we received would be more than what we ever had before. I only realised what she meant when I observed those who were well off and lived more than comfortable lives. Their desire for worldly gains was never quenchable. They always needed to have the next newer, better thing. It seemed as though they were subjects to their desires.
Thinking about how I am resented for what little that I have, which he does not have while he has so much more than me in terms of comforts and security really hurts me. Especially with so many things that he has done to which I consciously chose to turn a blind eye.
But yet, here I am striving to build up and restore dignity in his being, as oblivious as he is, blinded by his self-inflicted misery. All I feel as days go by is a faded friendship. I feel as though I am being treated more and more like just another person or annoyance in his life as he reinforces the wall around himself.
I've said it before that while he believes people are avoiding him, it is actually the other way around where he pushes people away. Over time out of respect for his strongly portrayed desire for privacy and solitude, people just stop approaching. But then in his head, he sees them as the one avoiding him.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
The essence is that a person's predicament does not happen suddenly and without reason or cause. Mind you "smart" people out there who are thinking of instances of car accidents or coming down with a sickness.
Few years ago I was in one of my many negative modes where I believed that I would never amount to anything good. I was told that my outlook of life was self-fulfilling prophecy. I could not understand, in fact I strongly rejected the idea that I was putting myself in a situation where I was intentionally setting up myself for failure. Only now when I look at others experiencing what I had, do I understand better.
If a person keeps intentionally doing something the exact way which were not successful the last several times, but yet adamantly keeps repeating over and over again, it is hardly a surprise that he would definitely know very well what the outcome would be. What is ridiculous is that he would find some sort of pride in being able to show people that he was right in believing that his attempts are futile because he already knew what the ending would be.
The compounding problem is when he already is settled for that mindset, that he behaves, or rather lives his life revolving around that state of mind. The faux reality which he has overlaid over the real layer of the world. It is like wearing a pair of shit-tinted glasses. He starts to believe his own lie about what the world, what the people are like. This lie of course started out as a whisper, but the Prince of this World is cunning. Now the lie has become a reality in his eyes and his mind. I only pray that his heart will be the last hope of resistance, which will push back the onslaught and ultimately win back his thoughts and visions for good.
* * * * *
As he is oblivious to the reality of the situation, so too is he oblivious to how others who genuinely care, are feeling especially when people, like myself, are trying to restore dignity and self-respect in him. It seems to amount to nothing as my efforts are trampled upon as worthless. I also cannot help but feel that I am resented for what I have, for the little that I have.
It's one thing to envy and resent those who have more than we do, but to envy and resent those whom have less than you? That is very dangerous territory. Ungratefulness leads to resentment, which leads to disobedience and ultimately separation.
My mother told me that if a person is not grateful for what he has that he would never ever be grateful for what he would get. I in my impoverished state could not fathom the meaning to those words because anything we received would be more than what we ever had before. I only realised what she meant when I observed those who were well off and lived more than comfortable lives. Their desire for worldly gains was never quenchable. They always needed to have the next newer, better thing. It seemed as though they were subjects to their desires.
Thinking about how I am resented for what little that I have, which he does not have while he has so much more than me in terms of comforts and security really hurts me. Especially with so many things that he has done to which I consciously chose to turn a blind eye.
But yet, here I am striving to build up and restore dignity in his being, as oblivious as he is, blinded by his self-inflicted misery. All I feel as days go by is a faded friendship. I feel as though I am being treated more and more like just another person or annoyance in his life as he reinforces the wall around himself.
I've said it before that while he believes people are avoiding him, it is actually the other way around where he pushes people away. Over time out of respect for his strongly portrayed desire for privacy and solitude, people just stop approaching. But then in his head, he sees them as the one avoiding him.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
