Just Sayings

There are some people who live by talking. There are those who talk by living.

How can he conjure up so much textual nonsense but yet do not live by his very own sayings? Two possibilities that are the only explanation for a person of this condition is retardation or blatant hypocrisy. It insults my intelligence. It shows he probably has none.

What is the point of speaking as though he knows, when nothing that he (assuming) has put into practice bear fruit?

If he complains on and on about how the world is unfair to him yet he does absolutely nothing worth to change his predicament, how does that make sense? One thousand and one so called reasons why changes cannot take place. He notices that he is not being treated the way he ideally expects he is entitled to. But he has done nothing to change that. Lead by example they say.

Other people are scum for treating him as such. But why is it fine when he does it to others? Especially to those whom he claims that he is close with? Intentionally lying may not be the agenda. But this is just ridiculous. So much talk while actions show otherwise. This is why the predicament remains. Because it's all talk. It's easier to gripe than to do something about it.

Despite all the excuses, people have given him opportunities to make something of himself. Opportunities to do things differently. But does he see it? No. Does he listen to things being spelled out explicitly for him? No. Excuses upon excuses to justify why he is unable take up the suggestions of others, who obviously have gone further than him.

Complaining that nobody shows him kindness and grace, but yet every gesture has been disregarded or thrown aside while he continues to treat them indifferently. Blinding himself to the blessings yet demanding something more. Expecting for so much when he has done so little. Is that fair at all?

The more I am inflicted with this, the more I believe that it is unnecessary for me to put up with it. Everybody has their limits. So do I. What is the point in me caring when it is met with indifference? I promise that the next time I am accused from the likes of him, I will have no more cheek to turn.

Someone else said that he has weird sense of priorities in life. Glad to know somebody else said the same thing as I have. The view of "me (and my family) against the world" will, if not already be his affliction of isolation.

Another thing: Loyalty is good and all provided if it is fair and wise. Zealously servicing those who you are loyal to, when in the wrong does not award you credits for effort. You are no different than those fanatics of religion.

Also, if you claim that you cannot read people's minds. Then don't expect other people to do so with you. It's just messed up.

"Grace before perfection" indeed. Receive grace but don't show grace, and especially no working towards perfection? Isn't that just taking the grace for granted?

Settling the Murky Waters

What a day today was. Even though they were simple things, regular things. Things that others do like breathe, second nature. But for me I am as always grateful and happy just like being thankful for being alive.

My time together with her today has been enlightening, albeit a little more but still a significant step towards understanding the way we are. My walk with her started out with disagreements in taste of clothing. She asked me if there was anything I would like to see. Now for those who are not discerning, my answer would have sounded like off tangent or even provocative but I meant it to be a holistic response. I replied that there is nothing else that I would like to see because whatever I like is often met with disapproval anyway.

But the entire time while I was silent, I was thinking to myself about her choice in clothing. Most of the articles of clothing she was interested in did not really appeal to me. I felt as though they were not special. They were rather bland in a background person kind of way. If I were to dress, it would need to bear some identity. People would need to go,"Oh yes. This is definitely him/her," or "This person has a distinct style."

Just like how my past of wearing black has lingered still. Only because I cannot afford new threads and I have yet to find something that really makes me need to get it.

I had monologues before concerning people who like certain clothing because it looks nice on its own or on a model but they never took into consideration whether it would look good on them. But anyways, I chose not to be bothered by it. I also realised that I may have been imposing my expectation of identity on her. Though on the flipside, it would be nice if one day people could look and her and go, "Wow they certainly have good taste." One can only dream.

Regardless of that whole thought it was time for lunch and everything previously was washed away with heavy dosage of alcohol. Though the sensation was thrilling, it was also scary how liquid could affect one's ability to function properly.

At the end of the trip, I am glad to know more about her and what she likes but I also hope that she would try my suggestions instead of straight dismissal. After all at the end of the day, we like what makes us look good.

What a day today was. Even though they were simple things, regular things. I am glad that I learned more today.