For the longest time I have always been alone. Now before you assume that I am over exaggerating or dramatising my life, I will briefly describe what it was like. So you know that I am not one of those that have to conjure issues in their lives because everything is just going too well for them.
When I was younger, my parents never had time for me. They were always busy with work and their own lives while I was left to my own devices. If any. My sister was never kind or pleasant to me. It felt as though she hated me for merely existing. Most of the days, I would talk to myself and imagine stories in my head to pass the time. What few toys I had were my tools to creating my own world, where I would determine how things should be.
School days were not so different. Never felt that I belonged in any group. Whenever I do make connections with individuals who seem to be of similar wavelength, they eventually sell out and join other groups and forget about me. I was the unattractive one, the poor one, the unfunny one. Those days, the unpopular ones were often the subject of ridicule, always seen as weird because they were not "one of the group".
You would think in college, kids should have been mature. If it is one thing college taught me was that, age is no indication of one's maturity, intelligence and wisdom. Sure as one ages, the expectation is set higher for them. Though it seems most people could care less.
These were the days where differing opinions, if they had any to differ in the first place, would determine the alienation.
Even at church I was "secretly" labelled as he who was of bad influence, where parents would tell their children to stay away from me. When I say "secret" I mean everybody knew but me.
At the late point of my life, I had already lost the want; the desire to belong to any particular group after experiencing the more often than not, hive mind behaviours in groups.
* * * * *
My friend recently reminded me that God did in fact say, "It is not good for man to be alone."
We were created not as self sufficient beings but as beings requiring to rely on each other. I have learnt in life that a burn or two does not make the whole world a blazing pyre. Humans are not perfect, will sooner or later disappoint. The idea is to not expect them to be perfect or be able to fulfill our hopes.
Just as we are unable to do certain things, so too must we see the same in others.
If a group does not welcome you, move along to the next. Just because there has been a streak of unwelcome does not make one unwelcome everywhere. The important thing is to persevere.
To look at how tall a mountain is and just sit there will not get one to the top. It requires steps; putting one foot in front of the other. No matter how long it takes, it will definitely happen. Again emphasising on the importance of perseverance.
* * * * *
Persevering is one thing, but one also needs to realise that if at first one does not succeed, one needs to examine and reflect what went wrong and to correct or improve. To repeat a same method and hoping for a different outcome is insanity.
Failures should be seen as indicators of what not to do, rather than rejection. True it is a rejection of what is wrong. The rejection has its reasons and those reasons need to be understood and appreciated. Only then will the desire to persevere becomes strengthened and fueled with cause.
When I was younger, my parents never had time for me. They were always busy with work and their own lives while I was left to my own devices. If any. My sister was never kind or pleasant to me. It felt as though she hated me for merely existing. Most of the days, I would talk to myself and imagine stories in my head to pass the time. What few toys I had were my tools to creating my own world, where I would determine how things should be.
School days were not so different. Never felt that I belonged in any group. Whenever I do make connections with individuals who seem to be of similar wavelength, they eventually sell out and join other groups and forget about me. I was the unattractive one, the poor one, the unfunny one. Those days, the unpopular ones were often the subject of ridicule, always seen as weird because they were not "one of the group".
You would think in college, kids should have been mature. If it is one thing college taught me was that, age is no indication of one's maturity, intelligence and wisdom. Sure as one ages, the expectation is set higher for them. Though it seems most people could care less.
These were the days where differing opinions, if they had any to differ in the first place, would determine the alienation.
Even at church I was "secretly" labelled as he who was of bad influence, where parents would tell their children to stay away from me. When I say "secret" I mean everybody knew but me.
At the late point of my life, I had already lost the want; the desire to belong to any particular group after experiencing the more often than not, hive mind behaviours in groups.
* * * * *
My friend recently reminded me that God did in fact say, "It is not good for man to be alone."
We were created not as self sufficient beings but as beings requiring to rely on each other. I have learnt in life that a burn or two does not make the whole world a blazing pyre. Humans are not perfect, will sooner or later disappoint. The idea is to not expect them to be perfect or be able to fulfill our hopes.
Just as we are unable to do certain things, so too must we see the same in others.
If a group does not welcome you, move along to the next. Just because there has been a streak of unwelcome does not make one unwelcome everywhere. The important thing is to persevere.
To look at how tall a mountain is and just sit there will not get one to the top. It requires steps; putting one foot in front of the other. No matter how long it takes, it will definitely happen. Again emphasising on the importance of perseverance.
* * * * *
Persevering is one thing, but one also needs to realise that if at first one does not succeed, one needs to examine and reflect what went wrong and to correct or improve. To repeat a same method and hoping for a different outcome is insanity.
Failures should be seen as indicators of what not to do, rather than rejection. True it is a rejection of what is wrong. The rejection has its reasons and those reasons need to be understood and appreciated. Only then will the desire to persevere becomes strengthened and fueled with cause.
